Everyone try’s to prepare you for how life will be, once your child is born. But as I found they don’t always prepare you for the drop in hormones. I try to be pretty well informed. So I did make sure I read up on baby blues.

I think that there is such a stigma involved in any kind of mental illnesses. That too many women don’t look for help. Or don’t even realize that what they are experiencing is post-partum depression. Or a version of PPD. Be it because they are embarrassed to admit that they are suffering. Or don’t know that what they are feeling is more then just a bad day. And this can happen up to a year after your baby is born.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been battling with it. And yes I did, and am still trying to hide it. I’ve always been a very fiercely independent girl. Been doing it all on my own, for as long as I can remember. I knew motherhood was going to be hard. But when it’s just you, it is harder then imagined. You don’t have anyone to pass your child to when you need a break. Housework falls under the who cares category. And in my case, eating seems impossible. And it doesn’t help that I also suffer from S.A.D. And it is that time of year in Vancouver. Rain, rain, grey sky’s,and more rain. So getting out is not top of my list. But that is unfair to my daughter. So I try to get out every day even if it’s just around the block. Sometimes I cry, and for really no apparent reason. Other times I look at my daughter and I cry. But that is only because she fills my heart. Thank god that I don’t have feeling of hurting myself or her, but some do.

I want to let others know not to be ashamed, or afraid to ask for help. I was lucky enough for my midwife to catch it. She gave me some good resources The hotline number is 604-255-7999. This is manned by volunteers who they themselves have suffered through it. You can find professional help as well. If you are not into medication. Herbs can work as well. I myself take my three times daily dose of lemon balm.

And if anyone that is reading this has or is finding a ring of truth to this. How did you cope? Or you just need to talk to someone who won’t think you’re crazy. Let me know. Us mothers really are in this together.