Mothering day

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I’m glad it is coming to a close. It was a stressful, and loooong ass day.
My first official Mothers day was filled with overwhelming emotions. A number of melt downs from the wee one. And the plethora of rude obnoxious fellow humans.
As what seems the norm lately with the wee tater tot. We were up at the crack of stupid o’clock of the morning. Which is in non parent time 5:30. I don’t know if it’s the two bottom teeth pushing through. Or the wonderful early rising sun. But it’s killing me. I did try to no avail to cajole her back to the land of nod. So up we got, I fixed myself a brew. As she proceeded to empty the toy box. By 8 she was going downhill fast. A nap was desperately in order. I prayed that it wouldn’t be one of her famous twenty minute power naps. I did get an hour and a half out of her

Now to get us both ready for our mothers day tea. That went pretty well, but she swirled downhill. Quick throw everything in the bag and move move move. Before getting out of the house becomes impossible. Now we didn’t have to meet the other moms for an hour and a half. This is my life with my spirited child. We are NEVER late for anything. I thought for sure a nap as we rolled. Nope. And I knew that once we were rolling with the others. No way she would. Why would she, she might miss out on something extremely important.

The tea was nice, cute little finger sandwiches. So many mommas and wee ones. She did pretty well, but I knew it wasn’t going to last long. I was right.

Arrggg. Ok I’m going to stop bitching about how hard it was. Because really everyday is hard. But in the next breath, as I sit here in the glow of the tv. With the wee ones steady breathing next to me. My heart is full, more full then I’ve ever imagined. This tiny little being can make me want to pull my hair out. But I take a deep breath, turn back. And that perfect face is smiling back at me. Arm out stretched. And all is good the bad and hard disappear.
It’s not my child that should be thanking me on this day. It is I who should be thanking her. After all I’m a mother because of her.
But I really could use a massage

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Community

Today was a hectic, but good day. We had a lot of visitors, and a long walk to boot. A wonderful lady that is a client at my old job that I never want to go back to. came to visit. She brought food which to me is heaven, and  Christmas presents for us both. I love this woman, she has always been one of my favorite people to deal with. She has such grace and love about her. And she has kept in touch with me the entire time I’ve been gone from my job. And she would do anything for me, that is if I ask. I’m not one to bother people. But ever so thankful for her visit today, even if it was short.

Next was our walk down to a cute little cafe/restaurant that states that it is kid friendly. Which it is, nothing but kids with their caregivers. It’s called Little Nest The atmosphere was loud given that there was a multitude of kids of all ages. The wooden floors don’t help I’d say, but it is a nice space. And you don’t find many places around that are geared toward kids. I don’t know that I would go there too often. As it was a little overwhelming for me, I don’t deal too well with crowds and lots of noise. I don’t know what to concentrate on. No wonder my daughter gets over stimulated easy. She gets it from me. The menu is wonderful, it was certainly hard to pick what I wanted. And the fact that most of the ingredients are organic makes me very happy. But I knew I’d be having breakfast. It’s the one thing that I miss the most, being able to sit down to my favorite meal. I had soldiers, as soon as I saw it on the menu I knew I must have it. My free run eggs were perfectly medium, and the cranberry, apricot walnut bread was amazing. I love to talk about food!

Wow look at me giving you a detailed account of this place. And completely forgetting why I went. I met up with this wonderful single momma and her beautiful daughter. The momma had started a single mom group in a park when her daughter was young, and recently the YWCA took over. This was mainly because they have many more resources and can provide more than she ever could. She did have one stipulation, that no mother be turned away. Well I was. About 5 weeks ago I emailed the YWCA asking if I would be able to join this group. As I don’t have a lot of support, and having some other single moms to talk to would be wonderful. They said they were full and would email me once there was room for me.

Well on Monday I went into my midwives clinic to weigh the little tater tot. (Who is 12lbs 11oz). They were closed, but I knew the office manager was going to be there. So we popped in for a visit, and I was glad I did. S asked if I had talked to this momma about the group. I told her about it being full and this was over a month ago. She shook her head and said let me email her and tell her about you. I think you guys would really get a long. Only a few hours later this wonderful momma called me. We chatted for a bit, and she was very upset that I was turned away and she was going to fix that. There was so much support that I could be receiving and I’m not. She asked if I wanted to meet up later in the week. And of course I said yes, I do need other mom’s in my life that can relate to what I’m undertaking.The group is on a break, but will be back in the new year. I can’t wait, if the rest of them are as nice as this mom! She has already helped me in a number of ways, and she doesn’t even know me. It does give me a new hope for the upcoming year.

Another reason I love my midwives. Something wonderful and life changing always happens when I go there.

The late afternoon brought with it a visit from two guys I worked with years ago. But I keep in touch with a lot of them. One of them I’ve always called Boo Boo bear. He is one of the most kindhearted, warm, sensitive people I know. But you would never say any of that out loud to anyone who doesn’t know him. He would deny it! He and his wife tried everything for years to have children, but it just didn’t work out for them. He was almost in tears when he met my daughter today. And he kept saying what a good dad he would have been. Which made me want to cry, because he really would have been. Such a big heart he has, and on the way out he shoved money in my hand. And said merry christmas, that did make me cry. I tried to give it back, but he wasn’t having any of that.

All in all it was a busy day for both of us. But she did pretty good, only a small melt down in the cafe. I chalk that up to her just being tired, so that doesn’t count. And she let other people hold her for longer then two seconds before she was stretching out her arms for me.

Tiny steps, tiny steps xo