Nine months

Today my beautiful heart turned nine months.

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It’s been a crazy month for us. So many new things. Her world seems to be expanding at a rapid pace. I’m still in awe everything that has taken place in such a short period.
She is moving around the house at warp speed now. It’s kind of nice that she can come to me now. I know how selfish of me. It didn’t take her long after the crawling started for her to be pulling up on everything.

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Here she is letting me know that the TV is dusty.
With all this moving, it just seems I have absolutely no time for myself. You can’t leave the busy bee alone for a second. Because she will find something to get into. Or put in her mouth. Yes I now have my own personal human roomba.
We finally have bottom teeth. It took long enough. Phewf. But not two weeks later the screaming started all over again. I don’t know if she feels like she is behind or something. But low and behold, four new top teeth just below the surface. Her left top front has made a slight appearance. But I can see the other three. And my god can I hear them.
Needless to say sleeping has been a bitch this last month. She wakes a million times in the night. Some mornings I don’t know if I’m coming or going. And no amount of coffee seems to help my plight.
Top it off we had our first sickness a week ago. From Friday to Monday she had a fever. It climbed to just over 103. Of course it worried the hell out of me. I thought that teething could be a part of it. But apparently as per the quack doctor. Fever is not associated with teething any more???!!! He figured it was roseola. Which I guess is pretty common. He said once the fever breaks. She would get a rash, which she did. Thankfully it was a very uneventful rash. The only upside of it was. I got to have a super cuddly bubba for a few days.

Thank you for the last nine months my sweet girl. Even if you refuse to get changed or dressed any more and scream and cry like I’m killing you. For my sloppy open mouth kisses, when I ask for them. For wanting to touch every tree, wall, poll, window. Oh hell everything when we are on a walk. To being a big help turning lights on and off. For filling my heart with so much love. For picking me as your momma. Love you baby girl

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Mothering day

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I’m glad it is coming to a close. It was a stressful, and loooong ass day.
My first official Mothers day was filled with overwhelming emotions. A number of melt downs from the wee one. And the plethora of rude obnoxious fellow humans.
As what seems the norm lately with the wee tater tot. We were up at the crack of stupid o’clock of the morning. Which is in non parent time 5:30. I don’t know if it’s the two bottom teeth pushing through. Or the wonderful early rising sun. But it’s killing me. I did try to no avail to cajole her back to the land of nod. So up we got, I fixed myself a brew. As she proceeded to empty the toy box. By 8 she was going downhill fast. A nap was desperately in order. I prayed that it wouldn’t be one of her famous twenty minute power naps. I did get an hour and a half out of her

Now to get us both ready for our mothers day tea. That went pretty well, but she swirled downhill. Quick throw everything in the bag and move move move. Before getting out of the house becomes impossible. Now we didn’t have to meet the other moms for an hour and a half. This is my life with my spirited child. We are NEVER late for anything. I thought for sure a nap as we rolled. Nope. And I knew that once we were rolling with the others. No way she would. Why would she, she might miss out on something extremely important.

The tea was nice, cute little finger sandwiches. So many mommas and wee ones. She did pretty well, but I knew it wasn’t going to last long. I was right.

Arrggg. Ok I’m going to stop bitching about how hard it was. Because really everyday is hard. But in the next breath, as I sit here in the glow of the tv. With the wee ones steady breathing next to me. My heart is full, more full then I’ve ever imagined. This tiny little being can make me want to pull my hair out. But I take a deep breath, turn back. And that perfect face is smiling back at me. Arm out stretched. And all is good the bad and hard disappear.
It’s not my child that should be thanking me on this day. It is I who should be thanking her. After all I’m a mother because of her.
But I really could use a massage

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Wordless Wednesday

I know I said wordless. But I should explain my absence. It won’t last for long, as this helps me keep my sanity. Thanks to everyone who still sticks around, and reads my ramblings.

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When my niece was in town, we decided to go to the aquarium. It was the first time for all of us. The wee Miss LOVED it, mind you so did we.

No time

Ugh, I’ve been trying to get on here for what seems like forever. But what fleeting moments the wee one has given me. Have been spent doing dishes, cleaning up after her. Or just going to bed.
Why does it seem like all I’m doing as of late. Is caring for her (which I love, I might add) and cleaning. But it’s not getting the cleaning that I do need to get done. It’s the what has gotten dirty today. Not the scrubbing that I desperately need to get done.

The photos of these happy homemakers. Whom have a spotless home, perfect children, and cookies baking in the oven. Make me want to claw their eyes out. How the hell really!?

The fact of the matter is. My wee one has me almost at my wits end. Seriously, if I had balls. She would have me by them. For some reason this past week. She refuses to nap or sleep unless she is somehow on me. Or half on me, or touching distance. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong.

Is this a faze? Is she teething again?

Now she has always been my speed racer. She goes from my sweet sun shiny smiley pumpkin. To a screaming crying mess. In 3.2 seconds. Take last night for example. I don’t know what set her off this time. But she wouldn’t settle/calm down. Overtired perhaps, that is normally the case lately. I just couldn’t take it. I was thinking to myself, who the hell left this screaming child on my floor. And I had to leave her there, and step outside. Because it was literally making me sweat and scrambling my brain. Her cries has always done that to me. I really can’t think straight when she gets that way. She got herself so worked up. She couldn’t catch her breath. And was shaking. It took half an hour to calm her down.

This is also what happens when I try to put her anywhere to sleep. Why I haven’t done it often. Because it breaks my heart. Cry it out is really not for us.

I don’t talk about these things with many people. I always feel like I’m being judged on my mothering skills. But it’s safe here, no one really knows me

But damn it I’m a good mum. Hell a great mum. I just struggle sometimes.

This was earlier in the day.

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And this would be an hour ago.

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Seven months

My wee one has blessed my heart and life for seven months today. Sure it has had its hard moments. But I wouldn’t change one second of it.
I’ve realized how dull and boring my life was before her. Nothing gives me more pleasure then being a mother. Not only was she born seven months ago. But so was I. I will now and forever more be a mother.
Sure, there are moments that I miss the before life. But those are fleeting moments. All I have to do is look at that beautiful face smiling back at me. And I know that all the sleepless nights. The tears, poop, spit up, sore arms, crying. And everything else is so worth it. I’m so glad she picked me to be her mother. I hope that I can raise her right, and she can do the same for me. I’ve already grown so much. It’s amazing what such a tiny little being can do to you.

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Young love

This is a picture I took today. It is of my wee one, and my best friends youngest. He was born a month and a half after mine. In jolly ol England.
She came for a visit for a month. I’ve missed her and her little family dearly. What I would have done to have shared our pregnancies together.
We always said. Prearranged marriage is ok for our wee ones. Well that is if he doesn’t get cock blocked by his older brother. Whom adored my girl.
Until next time my beautiful friend. Thanks for some memories

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Baby’s first tattoo

I’m amazed how many people actually thought I would tattoo my child. The other night, my best friend had an appointment with Marky. She was getting her other sons name done on her wrist.
And I thought it would be a riot to make it look like we were going to tattoo the wee one. Of course Marky was all for it, because he has a twisted mind like me.
So this photo was the out come. I love the way she is looking at him. As if to say. Yup I’m ready, let’s do this. She didn’t even pull away or anything.
But I’m still holding strong that she won’t want any. Or at least hold out for as long as I did before I started.
After we were mad we didn’t draw a heart that said “mom” for an after photo. That would throw everyone for more of a loop.
I posted it to Facebook. And was amazed at the comments. People really thought I would let anyone mark that perfect skin. And no way in hell Marky would do it any way.
Silly people. But fuck was it funny

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