The crying game

I wouldn’t really call it a game. But it seems that little miss sees it this way. Never fails, her bewitching hour. The time of day when she turns from my easy to deal with two month old. Into my fussy, don’t you dare put me down, I’m going to fight sleep until the bitter end child. Sometimes I think I’m living with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

From 4pm until at least 10 or 11pm. Without fail she tests my patience. I know she is tired, she has that cry. You pace the apartment, hum, sing, talk softly. But she fights, even with her eyes rolling into the back of her tiny head. Hell she even keeps one eye ever so slightly open. As if to say, I’m watching you. You put me down I’m just going to cry. And you will just have to start this from the beginning. And just when you think she is fast asleep. You ever so gently bend over the bassinet. Carefully place her down, crossing fingers and toes. She sighs, you cringe. But thank baby Jesus her eyes stay closed.

I take a deep breath. My mind races what do I need to get done? Dishes? Shower? Dinner? Crap. There she goes. She has finally realized she is not in my arms. I’ve never felt the need to throw her over the balcony. But some days I’d like to jump. I love her, and I do love to snuggle with her. But my health has started to suffer.

My weight has started to plummet. My midwives don’t want me to waste away. I have a very high metabolism, and I breast feed. So needless to say I dropped to my pre-pregnancy weight very quickly. I try to eat, but I don’t get to as often or as much as I should. Because someone is always in my arms.

Ask for help. This is what I keep getting told. This is easier said then done. First most of my peeps have their own lives. Or they can’t come during her bad time. And I have always found it hard to ask for help. I don’t know if its pride, or stubbornness. Or that as a mother I feel like I should be able to do it. But single motherhood is a whole other ball of fun.

Any tips for putting her down once she is asleep? And not having her wake 10 seconds later? And please don’t say let her cry it out. This is something I don’t really agree with.