Body image issues….

Here we go again. We went for our 6 month check up last week. And once again I’m getting comments about her weight. And was told to try to not over feed her. Yup that’s what I’m doing, fattening her up to join Hansel and Gretel at the ginger bread house.

First, you can’t over feed a breastfed child. She eats when she wants to eat. I could offer her the boob all day, and she will only take it when she wants. And yes she is starting solids. But with me doing the baby led, once again she eats what and how much she wants.

Second, she is much more mobile. So really she would weigh a whole lot more if she wasn’t.

It just angers me to no end. She is a happy healthy 18.2lb little girl. With beautiful chubby cheeks. And the cutest rolls ever. And there is no need to start to give my wee girl body image issues this early.

This world is so worried about obesity that they are starting to manifest it on babies. Girls have a hard enough time this day and age. I want her to grow up happy with who she is and with how she looks. And if a doctor ever says to her when she is really old enough to understand. I’ll punch them out.

19 Weeks

My wee tater tot is 19 weeks old young today. I remember when it was her first 19 weeks. The day I got to find out if it was blue or pink.
I drank so much water, I thought I was going to pee myself. I actually almost did on the bus ride to the clinic. When I got there and signed in I realized it was extremely busy. Not a free chair in the waiting room. Crap I just wanted to sit down and cross my legs and pray that I could hold it in. I paced in circles, I may not have the strongest kegels now. But I sure as shit did then, and they were working overtime. My bladder was so full my eyes were starting to water.
I glanced at my watch for the like the hundredth time. Crap, they were behind. I went to the desk and pleaded with the receptionist. “please” I blubbered “I really can hold it” she sighed handed me this cup and told me I could go. BUT to only fill the cup half full. Sure, sure I snatched the cup and beelined it to the washroom.
When your bladder is more than over full. It is extremely hard to stop the flow once you start it. Or so I found out anyway.
Back out to the waiting room I go. I knew there was a reason they call it that. Because I waited some more. Needless to say, I had to plead with a different receptionist to let me pee more.
Finally my turn. I laid down on the table as the technician got everything ready. I was ever so thankful for the warm jelly. Only can imagine what would have happened of it was cold.
When she started the scan, she kind of laughed at me. “your bladder is too full. You’re going to have to empty it a bit” So really I could have filled both those cups and been fine.
Back on the table. I had to crane my neck as she swooshed her little wand around my growing belly. She was pretty silent as she took the measurements and what not. Which scared me a little. Until she turned the monitor. There in the middle of the screen, was this little heart beating so fast. My heart was in my mouth, my hands hurt from gripping each other. She asked if there was anyone in the waiting room she could get for me. I said nope it’s just me. Would you like to know what it is?
I had been waiting for this question for 19 weeks. Fuck Yes I did. I already knew, but I wanted to hear it. It’s a girl she said pointing to as she said the hamburg lines. Tears were streaming down my face. It all seemed so real. To be able to see her rolling and kicking around in there.

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This was one of the pictures I got. It kind of creeped me out. But there she was staring back at me, and waving hello. Saying not too much longer mummy.