In solidarity…

The dictonary defines solidarity as the following. Union or fellowship arising from common responsibilities and interests, as between members of a group or between classes, peoples, etc.: to promote solidarity among union members. community of feelings, purposes, etc. community of responsibilities and interests.

This is how I feel every single Saturday since the start of the year. This single mum group is the highlight of my week. I look forward to gathering with these women and their babes/babes to be.

My experiences with mummy groups before this one was a story all in its own. I knew I needed to find one where I could at least have a common thread. I didn’t have to have become best friends with these people. But I needed to know I wasn’t alone.

My single mum group does this and so much more. I felt welcome the moment I walked in the door and took off my shoes. I wasn’t alone any longer, I was sitting surrounded by women who are struggling the same as me. Dealing with the same issues, crying the same tears. And I can actually see myself becoming life long friends with some of them.

There is no trying to have the better child, to one up the other mums. It’s all sharing and not comparing. It has done a world of good for my mental health. And I’m more than thankful.

Brave

There is a woman in my life who has had a rollercoaster of a year. Not the fun, fun woop it up Disney kind. More like the 1900’s wooden type, where you feel all the creaks and cracks. And fear that it’s all going to come tumbling down around you. She white knuckled that safety bar all the way to the end I’m sure. But she made it, as unscathed as she could be. But you can see it in her eyes, that it did affect her. But its in the unspoken look in her eyes that says I’ll make it.

I respect her so very much, she posses qualitys that I do not. She is like a little old woman in a young woman’s body, wise beyond her years. The talent in her shutter finger is more than I have in all ten. Her creative juices are incomparable. And the love that she has for her two boys is enough to make your heart melt. She just has an amazing way about her, you always feel welcome in her presence. I’ve been amazed since I met her how well put together she is.

I find myself feeling very inadequate, okay maybe jealous. Okay maybe not the best words. It’s just I’m envious of her, but in the nicest way possible. She really is a ray of light through the dark Vancouver sky’s.

I love you momma Jo, and am in awe of what a brave wonderful woman/mother you are. Thank you for coming into my life, and thank you for everything I’ve yet to learn from you. You are brave!

Community

Today was a hectic, but good day. We had a lot of visitors, and a long walk to boot. A wonderful lady that is a client at my old job that I never want to go back to. came to visit. She brought food which to me is heaven, and  Christmas presents for us both. I love this woman, she has always been one of my favorite people to deal with. She has such grace and love about her. And she has kept in touch with me the entire time I’ve been gone from my job. And she would do anything for me, that is if I ask. I’m not one to bother people. But ever so thankful for her visit today, even if it was short.

Next was our walk down to a cute little cafe/restaurant that states that it is kid friendly. Which it is, nothing but kids with their caregivers. It’s called Little Nest The atmosphere was loud given that there was a multitude of kids of all ages. The wooden floors don’t help I’d say, but it is a nice space. And you don’t find many places around that are geared toward kids. I don’t know that I would go there too often. As it was a little overwhelming for me, I don’t deal too well with crowds and lots of noise. I don’t know what to concentrate on. No wonder my daughter gets over stimulated easy. She gets it from me. The menu is wonderful, it was certainly hard to pick what I wanted. And the fact that most of the ingredients are organic makes me very happy. But I knew I’d be having breakfast. It’s the one thing that I miss the most, being able to sit down to my favorite meal. I had soldiers, as soon as I saw it on the menu I knew I must have it. My free run eggs were perfectly medium, and the cranberry, apricot walnut bread was amazing. I love to talk about food!

Wow look at me giving you a detailed account of this place. And completely forgetting why I went. I met up with this wonderful single momma and her beautiful daughter. The momma had started a single mom group in a park when her daughter was young, and recently the YWCA took over. This was mainly because they have many more resources and can provide more than she ever could. She did have one stipulation, that no mother be turned away. Well I was. About 5 weeks ago I emailed the YWCA asking if I would be able to join this group. As I don’t have a lot of support, and having some other single moms to talk to would be wonderful. They said they were full and would email me once there was room for me.

Well on Monday I went into my midwives clinic to weigh the little tater tot. (Who is 12lbs 11oz). They were closed, but I knew the office manager was going to be there. So we popped in for a visit, and I was glad I did. S asked if I had talked to this momma about the group. I told her about it being full and this was over a month ago. She shook her head and said let me email her and tell her about you. I think you guys would really get a long. Only a few hours later this wonderful momma called me. We chatted for a bit, and she was very upset that I was turned away and she was going to fix that. There was so much support that I could be receiving and I’m not. She asked if I wanted to meet up later in the week. And of course I said yes, I do need other mom’s in my life that can relate to what I’m undertaking.The group is on a break, but will be back in the new year. I can’t wait, if the rest of them are as nice as this mom! She has already helped me in a number of ways, and she doesn’t even know me. It does give me a new hope for the upcoming year.

Another reason I love my midwives. Something wonderful and life changing always happens when I go there.

The late afternoon brought with it a visit from two guys I worked with years ago. But I keep in touch with a lot of them. One of them I’ve always called Boo Boo bear. He is one of the most kindhearted, warm, sensitive people I know. But you would never say any of that out loud to anyone who doesn’t know him. He would deny it! He and his wife tried everything for years to have children, but it just didn’t work out for them. He was almost in tears when he met my daughter today. And he kept saying what a good dad he would have been. Which made me want to cry, because he really would have been. Such a big heart he has, and on the way out he shoved money in my hand. And said merry christmas, that did make me cry. I tried to give it back, but he wasn’t having any of that.

All in all it was a busy day for both of us. But she did pretty good, only a small melt down in the cafe. I chalk that up to her just being tired, so that doesn’t count. And she let other people hold her for longer then two seconds before she was stretching out her arms for me.

Tiny steps, tiny steps xo