Can a Baby really be fat??

Wee one and her pal

I look at this picture and realize that maybe my wee one, isn’t that wee. To me she is perfect. But when we were getting our shots last week. The nurse basically said she was fat. Umm last time I checked babies were supposed be chubby. I was a chunk until I was five. They say she is short, but has some gurth to her. And they would have to keep an eye on that. To hell you will, she is happy and healthy. She likes to eat, so what? Once she starts crawling it will all work its self out. Yup she is my 17.5 pound pumpkin, and I love every roll, crease and crevasse.

I guess as her mother, I don’t realize how much she is growing. I took this photo at my single mum group. This is when I was all wow, maybe she is bigger than I thought. Her little pal is half a month behind her.





Home is where you……(insert what you feel here)

Home is where you…. I can’t say where I live. Sure I do love it here, I moved here for a reason. And can’t say where my heart is, because it’s in two places. My daughter is my heart, and of course she lives with me. And there are tiny pieces of my heart scattered across this world. I believe that each person who has truly touched your heart, or played some deep role in it. Carries a tiny piece of your heart with them… Anywho I’m getting off topic.

I will always and forever call Calgary my home. And I’m really missing home today.

Bump in the tower

This picture was taken the last time I was home. It was July last year, and I was just over 30 weeks. Its seems like forever ago. Granted I was in Edmonton for Christmas, and got to see some of my family. But about half of my family hasn’t even met the wee one yet.

I do admit I’ve loved these almost 10 years, 12 hour drive away from the drama that is my family. But since I’ve had the wee one, I find myself dreaming of home.

It’s hard always having to go and take the wee one to visit his family, and do things with his family. Yes I know she needs to know his side too. I’m not saying that she wouldn’t and shouldn’t. It just makes me sad that she doesn’t get to spend as much time with mine.They see bits and pieces of her. Her image in a photo, or through the computer screen. But that is not the same as holding her. I want her to be able to recognize them, and not play strange. Because she only sees them once or twice a year. This is not how I wanted it to be.

It was great when she was born. I think I had over two years worth of my own family visits in the first two months. And I loved it, or shall I say WE loved it. My parents were here for a week, they came two days after she was born and stayed for a week. But they normally come in September anyway, so they got an added bonus that visit. Then my oldest niece and her girlfriend came for a few days. Then my brother and my oldest nephew came for almost a week. My brother comes out about once a year, well he has started to anyway. And my nephew has never come out before. And the one that has meant the most to me. Was my sister and one of my other wonderful nieces came for a week. Neither of them have ever come out since I moved here. And it made me so happy.

So I guess you could say I’m going through family withdrawal. My next visit, as far as I know. Will be in June, my parents always come out for my birthday. Sigh that is so far away. And not to forget the wonderful spectacular friends that are there. I’m missing them something awful too.

Someone… Anyone…. Come see us soon we miss you



Today was a hectic, but good day. We had a lot of visitors, and a long walk to boot. A wonderful lady that is a client at my old job that I never want to go back to. came to visit. She brought food which to me is heaven, and  Christmas presents for us both. I love this woman, she has always been one of my favorite people to deal with. She has such grace and love about her. And she has kept in touch with me the entire time I’ve been gone from my job. And she would do anything for me, that is if I ask. I’m not one to bother people. But ever so thankful for her visit today, even if it was short.

Next was our walk down to a cute little cafe/restaurant that states that it is kid friendly. Which it is, nothing but kids with their caregivers. It’s called Little Nest The atmosphere was loud given that there was a multitude of kids of all ages. The wooden floors don’t help I’d say, but it is a nice space. And you don’t find many places around that are geared toward kids. I don’t know that I would go there too often. As it was a little overwhelming for me, I don’t deal too well with crowds and lots of noise. I don’t know what to concentrate on. No wonder my daughter gets over stimulated easy. She gets it from me. The menu is wonderful, it was certainly hard to pick what I wanted. And the fact that most of the ingredients are organic makes me very happy. But I knew I’d be having breakfast. It’s the one thing that I miss the most, being able to sit down to my favorite meal. I had soldiers, as soon as I saw it on the menu I knew I must have it. My free run eggs were perfectly medium, and the cranberry, apricot walnut bread was amazing. I love to talk about food!

Wow look at me giving you a detailed account of this place. And completely forgetting why I went. I met up with this wonderful single momma and her beautiful daughter. The momma had started a single mom group in a park when her daughter was young, and recently the YWCA took over. This was mainly because they have many more resources and can provide more than she ever could. She did have one stipulation, that no mother be turned away. Well I was. About 5 weeks ago I emailed the YWCA asking if I would be able to join this group. As I don’t have a lot of support, and having some other single moms to talk to would be wonderful. They said they were full and would email me once there was room for me.

Well on Monday I went into my midwives clinic to weigh the little tater tot. (Who is 12lbs 11oz). They were closed, but I knew the office manager was going to be there. So we popped in for a visit, and I was glad I did. S asked if I had talked to this momma about the group. I told her about it being full and this was over a month ago. She shook her head and said let me email her and tell her about you. I think you guys would really get a long. Only a few hours later this wonderful momma called me. We chatted for a bit, and she was very upset that I was turned away and she was going to fix that. There was so much support that I could be receiving and I’m not. She asked if I wanted to meet up later in the week. And of course I said yes, I do need other mom’s in my life that can relate to what I’m undertaking.The group is on a break, but will be back in the new year. I can’t wait, if the rest of them are as nice as this mom! She has already helped me in a number of ways, and she doesn’t even know me. It does give me a new hope for the upcoming year.

Another reason I love my midwives. Something wonderful and life changing always happens when I go there.

The late afternoon brought with it a visit from two guys I worked with years ago. But I keep in touch with a lot of them. One of them I’ve always called Boo Boo bear. He is one of the most kindhearted, warm, sensitive people I know. But you would never say any of that out loud to anyone who doesn’t know him. He would deny it! He and his wife tried everything for years to have children, but it just didn’t work out for them. He was almost in tears when he met my daughter today. And he kept saying what a good dad he would have been. Which made me want to cry, because he really would have been. Such a big heart he has, and on the way out he shoved money in my hand. And said merry christmas, that did make me cry. I tried to give it back, but he wasn’t having any of that.

All in all it was a busy day for both of us. But she did pretty good, only a small melt down in the cafe. I chalk that up to her just being tired, so that doesn’t count. And she let other people hold her for longer then two seconds before she was stretching out her arms for me.

Tiny steps, tiny steps xo