Tightening the purse strings

I can’t sleep. I sit here with the wee one peacefully unaware of my dilemma. I still have a few more months to weigh the pros and cons.
I really really do NOT want to return to work. I may be a tad old fashion, but I believe that a mothers place is with her children. I do realize that this is not always possible. But I’m going to try with all my power to make it happen.
Currently I’m on maternity leave, so I’m collecting EI. It has been a tough go. But it’s a million times better than welfare assistance. I think welfare is a dirty word. And a stigma is very much attached to it.
Yes that’s right I’m considering going on assistance to stay home and watch my only daughter grow. Judge me if you want.
Yes I’ve looked into applying for it. EI seems like a cake walk. As much as I’ve complained about how little they give you. Assistance is much, much less. I hate money, I’ve never been good with it. And I want to give her so much. I’m already living at the poverty level. If I take assistance, funny they call it that. I’ll be living far below it.
I’m torn. And it’s breaking my heart. I’d love to find a data entry work from home kinda thing. Finding a ligit one seems like a job in its self.
Sometimes I think that being a single mother is like having a massive Scarlett letter.