My little blue eyed easy rider
Today my beautiful heart turned nine months.
It’s been a crazy month for us. So many new things. Her world seems to be expanding at a rapid pace. I’m still in awe everything that has taken place in such a short period.
She is moving around the house at warp speed now. It’s kind of nice that she can come to me now. I know how selfish of me. It didn’t take her long after the crawling started for her to be pulling up on everything.
Here she is letting me know that the TV is dusty.
With all this moving, it just seems I have absolutely no time for myself. You can’t leave the busy bee alone for a second. Because she will find something to get into. Or put in her mouth. Yes I now have my own personal human roomba.
We finally have bottom teeth. It took long enough. Phewf. But not two weeks later the screaming started all over again. I don’t know if she feels like she is behind or something. But low and behold, four new top teeth just below the surface. Her left top front has made a slight appearance. But I can see the other three. And my god can I hear them.
Needless to say sleeping has been a bitch this last month. She wakes a million times in the night. Some mornings I don’t know if I’m coming or going. And no amount of coffee seems to help my plight.
Top it off we had our first sickness a week ago. From Friday to Monday she had a fever. It climbed to just over 103. Of course it worried the hell out of me. I thought that teething could be a part of it. But apparently as per the
quack doctor. Fever is not associated with teething any more???!!! He figured it was roseola. Which I guess is pretty common. He said once the fever breaks. She would get a rash, which she did. Thankfully it was a very uneventful rash. The only upside of it was. I got to have a super cuddly bubba for a few days.
Thank you for the last nine months my sweet girl. Even if you refuse to get changed or dressed any more and scream and cry like I’m killing you. For my sloppy open mouth kisses, when I ask for them. For wanting to touch every tree, wall, poll, window. Oh hell everything when we are on a walk. To being a big help turning lights on and off. For filling my heart with so much love. For picking me as your momma. Love you baby girl
I know I said wordless. But I should explain my absence. It won’t last for long, as this helps me keep my sanity. Thanks to everyone who still sticks around, and reads my ramblings.
When my niece was in town, we decided to go to the aquarium. It was the first time for all of us. The wee Miss LOVED it, mind you so did we.
It was another lovely day here on the right coast. Nothing like the left coast has been having. None the less, the wee one and I took a jaunt.
And here are a few sights we saw.
I love crows… So I’m always happy when I can get a good shot of one
We passed a protest for the oil pipe line
Saw a ladybug on a lion head.
And of course, we must have a picture of the wee miss. She is the one after all points things out to me
Ugh, I’ve been trying to get on here for what seems like forever. But what fleeting moments the wee one has given me. Have been spent doing dishes, cleaning up after her. Or just going to bed.
Why does it seem like all I’m doing as of late. Is caring for her (which I love, I might add) and cleaning. But it’s not getting the cleaning that I do need to get done. It’s the what has gotten dirty today. Not the scrubbing that I desperately need to get done.
The photos of these happy homemakers. Whom have a spotless home, perfect children, and cookies baking in the oven. Make me want to claw their eyes out. How the hell really!?
The fact of the matter is. My wee one has me almost at my wits end. Seriously, if I had balls. She would have me by them. For some reason this past week. She refuses to nap or sleep unless she is somehow on me. Or half on me, or touching distance. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong.
Is this a faze? Is she teething again?
Now she has always been my speed racer. She goes from my sweet sun shiny smiley pumpkin. To a screaming crying mess. In 3.2 seconds. Take last night for example. I don’t know what set her off this time. But she wouldn’t settle/calm down. Overtired perhaps, that is normally the case lately. I just couldn’t take it. I was thinking to myself, who the hell left this screaming child on my floor. And I had to leave her there, and step outside. Because it was literally making me sweat and scrambling my brain. Her cries has always done that to me. I really can’t think straight when she gets that way. She got herself so worked up. She couldn’t catch her breath. And was shaking. It took half an hour to calm her down.
This is also what happens when I try to put her anywhere to sleep. Why I haven’t done it often. Because it breaks my heart. Cry it out is really not for us.
I don’t talk about these things with many people. I always feel like I’m being judged on my mothering skills. But it’s safe here, no one really knows me
But damn it I’m a good mum. Hell a great mum. I just struggle sometimes.
This was earlier in the day.
And this would be an hour ago.
We don’t get to choose who our children are, they choose us. And each and every day since this wee one was born, I’m thankful. And so very very in love. I was in love with you even before you were born, just the thought of seeing you. Set the tears in motion, and the heart swelling…
And here you are….
I never dreamed it possible to love like this. I always heard that a mothers love is so very powerful. I just didn’t fathom how awe-struck I would be when you were first placed on my chest. And my love for you grows each and every day.
I love waking up in the morning when I hear you stir. When I look over, and you lock eyes with me. And you get the biggest smile, and all four limbs start flaying. As if to say MUMMY good morning, you’re awake, come snuggle me!. Even on nights when you haven’t let mummy sleep, this makes it worth while.
I love when you cover your head with anything in arms reach. And then huff and puff until I come find you. You squeal like mad, and do it all over again, and again..
I love how frustrated you get when you can’t do what you want to do. Like get to that toy, just out of your reach. Or that you are too short to get that toy in your mouth on your jungle gym. So you scream and then cry. Tears in your eyes you thrust your arms out. Mummy will soothe me, and I always do
I love that everyone always stops us in the street to say hello. And you and your stubbornness, give them your best serious look. As soon as they walk away you smile at me. As if to say hahaha I’m not a circus animal, I’m not going to smile because you ask me.
I love when you place your hands on my cheeks and pull me in. Only to rub all your slobber across my face.
I love you today, tomorrow, and for always. Each day brings tears to my eyes, and makes my heart swell. Thank you for picking me to be your mummy xo