Wordless Wednesday

Now that she is proficient in the crawling department. Be still my heart. She is trying to pull up on everything. Was it not just yesterday that you just wanted to lay in my arms and sleep?
Why does the first year have to go at super speed?
Don’t get me wrong I love watching her grow. It’s amazing to me. But please slow it down just a bit?

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Mothering day

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I’m glad it is coming to a close. It was a stressful, and loooong ass day.
My first official Mothers day was filled with overwhelming emotions. A number of melt downs from the wee one. And the plethora of rude obnoxious fellow humans.
As what seems the norm lately with the wee tater tot. We were up at the crack of stupid o’clock of the morning. Which is in non parent time 5:30. I don’t know if it’s the two bottom teeth pushing through. Or the wonderful early rising sun. But it’s killing me. I did try to no avail to cajole her back to the land of nod. So up we got, I fixed myself a brew. As she proceeded to empty the toy box. By 8 she was going downhill fast. A nap was desperately in order. I prayed that it wouldn’t be one of her famous twenty minute power naps. I did get an hour and a half out of her

Now to get us both ready for our mothers day tea. That went pretty well, but she swirled downhill. Quick throw everything in the bag and move move move. Before getting out of the house becomes impossible. Now we didn’t have to meet the other moms for an hour and a half. This is my life with my spirited child. We are NEVER late for anything. I thought for sure a nap as we rolled. Nope. And I knew that once we were rolling with the others. No way she would. Why would she, she might miss out on something extremely important.

The tea was nice, cute little finger sandwiches. So many mommas and wee ones. She did pretty well, but I knew it wasn’t going to last long. I was right.

Arrggg. Ok I’m going to stop bitching about how hard it was. Because really everyday is hard. But in the next breath, as I sit here in the glow of the tv. With the wee ones steady breathing next to me. My heart is full, more full then I’ve ever imagined. This tiny little being can make me want to pull my hair out. But I take a deep breath, turn back. And that perfect face is smiling back at me. Arm out stretched. And all is good the bad and hard disappear.
It’s not my child that should be thanking me on this day. It is I who should be thanking her. After all I’m a mother because of her.
But I really could use a massage

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No time

Ugh, I’ve been trying to get on here for what seems like forever. But what fleeting moments the wee one has given me. Have been spent doing dishes, cleaning up after her. Or just going to bed.
Why does it seem like all I’m doing as of late. Is caring for her (which I love, I might add) and cleaning. But it’s not getting the cleaning that I do need to get done. It’s the what has gotten dirty today. Not the scrubbing that I desperately need to get done.

The photos of these happy homemakers. Whom have a spotless home, perfect children, and cookies baking in the oven. Make me want to claw their eyes out. How the hell really!?

The fact of the matter is. My wee one has me almost at my wits end. Seriously, if I had balls. She would have me by them. For some reason this past week. She refuses to nap or sleep unless she is somehow on me. Or half on me, or touching distance. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong.

Is this a faze? Is she teething again?

Now she has always been my speed racer. She goes from my sweet sun shiny smiley pumpkin. To a screaming crying mess. In 3.2 seconds. Take last night for example. I don’t know what set her off this time. But she wouldn’t settle/calm down. Overtired perhaps, that is normally the case lately. I just couldn’t take it. I was thinking to myself, who the hell left this screaming child on my floor. And I had to leave her there, and step outside. Because it was literally making me sweat and scrambling my brain. Her cries has always done that to me. I really can’t think straight when she gets that way. She got herself so worked up. She couldn’t catch her breath. And was shaking. It took half an hour to calm her down.

This is also what happens when I try to put her anywhere to sleep. Why I haven’t done it often. Because it breaks my heart. Cry it out is really not for us.

I don’t talk about these things with many people. I always feel like I’m being judged on my mothering skills. But it’s safe here, no one really knows me

But damn it I’m a good mum. Hell a great mum. I just struggle sometimes.

This was earlier in the day.

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And this would be an hour ago.

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Seven months

My wee one has blessed my heart and life for seven months today. Sure it has had its hard moments. But I wouldn’t change one second of it.
I’ve realized how dull and boring my life was before her. Nothing gives me more pleasure then being a mother. Not only was she born seven months ago. But so was I. I will now and forever more be a mother.
Sure, there are moments that I miss the before life. But those are fleeting moments. All I have to do is look at that beautiful face smiling back at me. And I know that all the sleepless nights. The tears, poop, spit up, sore arms, crying. And everything else is so worth it. I’m so glad she picked me to be her mother. I hope that I can raise her right, and she can do the same for me. I’ve already grown so much. It’s amazing what such a tiny little being can do to you.

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Young love

This is a picture I took today. It is of my wee one, and my best friends youngest. He was born a month and a half after mine. In jolly ol England.
She came for a visit for a month. I’ve missed her and her little family dearly. What I would have done to have shared our pregnancies together.
We always said. Prearranged marriage is ok for our wee ones. Well that is if he doesn’t get cock blocked by his older brother. Whom adored my girl.
Until next time my beautiful friend. Thanks for some memories

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Body image issues….

Here we go again. We went for our 6 month check up last week. And once again I’m getting comments about her weight. And was told to try to not over feed her. Yup that’s what I’m doing, fattening her up to join Hansel and Gretel at the ginger bread house.

First, you can’t over feed a breastfed child. She eats when she wants to eat. I could offer her the boob all day, and she will only take it when she wants. And yes she is starting solids. But with me doing the baby led, once again she eats what and how much she wants.

Second, she is much more mobile. So really she would weigh a whole lot more if she wasn’t.

It just angers me to no end. She is a happy healthy 18.2lb little girl. With beautiful chubby cheeks. And the cutest rolls ever. And there is no need to start to give my wee girl body image issues this early.

This world is so worried about obesity that they are starting to manifest it on babies. Girls have a hard enough time this day and age. I want her to grow up happy with who she is and with how she looks. And if a doctor ever says to her when she is really old enough to understand. I’ll punch them out.

Six Months

Six Months

Where has six months gone already?!
Never has days and months passed so quickly.
It seems like only yesterday you were being placed on my chest. Now you are becoming more and more independent.

Every day you are filling my life, and heart with more joy and love then I ever thought possible.
Thank you for the best six months of my life. I can’t wait for the months ahead.

Solids Yummy

So today is day two of our journey into baby-led weaning. I know, I know wait until she is six months. But she will be on Monday, and I was getting tired of food being stolen off my plate. So I figured I would give it a whrill.

Now I tossed it over and over in my head regarding how I was going to introduce solids to her. Was I going to go the traditional, how I and most people I know started. Or try out the baby-led way. So I was off to the races, researching the pro’s and con’s of both. I don’t just jump into things, I need to know both sides of everything. Maybe it’s the Gemini in me, maybe I’m just anal retentive.. Either way, baby-led was the way I settled on.

And after reading the book by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett, I was sold. It just seemed so simple and knock yourself in the head way it should be. She eats what I eat. You learn to chew first, than swallow. Not swallow then chew like in the tradition way. Now the first few months they say that it is more exploration then eating. You will know if they are eating, by their poop. I guess it gives you something to look forward to when you are changing diapers. Which I found out yesterday…. Someone really likes bananas.

So yesterday, as mentioned above we had bananas. They are slippery buggers. And she found it hard to figure out the holding bit. And the more she handled it, the more slippery it got. So in the end I did help her out a bit. Which they say not to do. But I always modify things to suit my parenting needs and ways.

But once she got the hang of it, there was no stopping her. I think I’m still cleaning banana out of her nose today.

Today we tried out some sliced cucumber and peaches. Once again, peaches are a bit hard to handle. But both were also a hit.

I’m just glad that she is enjoying it. And I don’t feel like I’m forcing her to eat. She eats what she wants, and I let her take as long as she wants. If she gets bored so be it.

I’m not promoting baby-led, I’m just sharing another day in our life. Everyone has the right to choose what is right and what works for them.

How did you introduce solids to your little one? Or how are you going to?

Star Wars

Yup I’m a geek, I like star wars. It’s like a car crash when ever its on T.V I can’t look away. I’ve seen them all a million times, but as I flip mindlessly through channels. And come across Yoda, that’s it I’m useless until it’s over.

I mean the wee ones name would have been Anakin if she was a boy. Yes Darth Vader. The force is strong with this one, I can feel it. Needless to say I find myself shopping in the boys section at stores to find things for her. And I don’t care. I don’t have to dress her in pink all the freaking time. I came across this onesie the other day, and couldn’t resist.

The force is stong with this one

And hell she looks pretty damn cute in it too!

To sleep or not to sleep

Sometimes I wonder about this wee one. I will have weeks when she seems to have her own little time table. And others she could care less.
The other night she decided that she didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to read, ok chew her pooh book. And watch hockey with her momma.
And I know she is tired because it is the only time she will seek out her soother.
But make an attempt to put her to bed and she loses her mind.
I’m not one to force her to do anything. She will do it, what ever it is in her own time. It’s like anything with babies, they learn at their own pace. They eat when they want. Learn to crawl when they do.
Maybe I’m setting myself up for challenges in the future. Well that’s what my sister says anyway.
Until then, I guess some nights. I’ll have a partner to watch hockey with.

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